I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
