I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Randomize