Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
