if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
