she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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