he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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