Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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