I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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