i'm signing you up for texting rehab
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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