What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
