2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
But theres a keg here and me gusta
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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