I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
this will be a night to untag.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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