i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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