i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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