maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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