I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
