...so i touched it.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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