i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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