i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
