have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
