Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
