break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
