Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
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