GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
We're using joints as your birthday candles
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
