Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
