I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
