My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
