I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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