I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
We left an ass print on the piano.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
