we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
