I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize