Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
