the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
