Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
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