Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
