I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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