I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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