he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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