I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I wish there were birth control emojis
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
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