btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
