im about as happy as oj after his trial
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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