i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
