I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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