look no pants
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
