You made me cry and you don't even care
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
