I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
