Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
