You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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