don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
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six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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