mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
