ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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