some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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