I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
