i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
