I am puke
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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