Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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