Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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